De Spil, between monastery and hostel

The retreat-assisting team 

NB Who we are and what we do, you find under 'medewerkers'.

More information? Email to Dit e-mail adres is beschermd door spambots, u heeft Javascript nodig om dit onderdeel te kunnen bekijken , or phone us at 0031 184 652 895

Who are we? 

How silence comes to live...

Retreat center the Spil. According to the leaflet: a place of silence in the polder, an place of contemplation and meeting. For grown-up people and increasingly for younger people as well. The Spil is a hideaway in an old Dutch farmhouse in Giessenburg, a small village in the Alblasserwaard-polder area, close to Gorinchem. Behind the farmhouse, the Giesse stream flows. The Spils ambition is to be a welcoming place, 'where heaven an earth try to touch each other'. Where silence has a dynamic of its own. Beautifull words... but what can they possibly mean in a life where noise and clatter, and the constant pressure to perform, are the theme of the day?
We ask this to Victor van Heusden (19...), who took the initiative to renovate the farmhouse and establish the Spil.

The beginning...

In 1993 we started a process of searching and thinking with a group of people, about the question: how could we create a location in the Netherlands, with space for contemplation and meditation? A process in which many dedicated friends and acquaintances took part. In 1995 we chose to acquire and renovate the old farmhouse in Giessenburg. It took us quite a long time to demolish the too old parts and renovate the parts with possibilities (luckily, almost all of it). All of course to make it fit for its purpose: to serve as a retreat. For me myself, it was the fulfillment of an old wish I cherished for very long. A place with room for sermon and prayer, as the basis for thinking through and taking time for contemplation on all kinds of life themes. Aren't this two basic things – a structure of seeking Gods face and prayer and taking time for contemplation – all too often separated from each other? In the course of years I took up a growing interest in monastic traditions and the Desert Fathers of Ancient Christianity. The Spil wants to follow in some of the footsteps of these traditions. Now, we are in our 12th year already, en there are basically two things you can come and do here. People can visit individually, for a couple of days, for questions of life and faith, and for thinking through their personal path of life. Apart from this we have, in weekends mostly, themes you can subscribe for and with which you deal as a group. Initially, we had the intention to give more attention to expression in art – painting, theatre, litterature etc. Now, this is somewhat limited because our housing facilities proved rather too small for grand schemes. I do believe however, that there is a need for this too. Isn't it something fantastic when people can express their creativity? In that process, you might just discover something of who you are; growth and taking shape as a searching person, as a christian, typically takes place in a combination of identity, spirituality and reflection, and action. Spirituality has to do with our spirit, and as christians we believe that our spirit is connected with the Holy Spirit. The spiritual reflection, becoming silent, has everything to do with what happens inside, but as a consequence of that process, the fruits will be visible on the outside. It is the type of fruit that gives away a tree. The apples, the hazelnuts, a tree drops when it is fully grown, express what the tree has in it, 'who' that tree is really. Spiritual reflection and creative expression are not opposites, they reinforce each other and grow out of each other. So, especially in summertime we organize all kinds of creative retreats.

Monastery

Ancient monastic orders used to develop a rule of life in their time. A 'monastic rule' is an expression of a certain christian lifestyle, with the purpose to shape the 'Imitatio Christi' the Following of Christ. A way of life. In the end, the crucial thing in a human life is, that out of it will appear what is in store, inside that person, so that in the service of God and the world we live in, it takes form and shape. In Creation, so much is given to us that begs for development and growth. That unfolding of abundance in Creation and us will more or less happen of its own, when circumstances are good. By living in hiding, in refusal or hurt, or by livin a too busy existence, the process of unfolding and growing can come to a halt. It is important therefore, to care for the right circumstances. Good circumstances have a material, psychological and spiritual side to them. It starts with trust in God and in people. By the Gospel, man hears the call to appear, to come out of hiding. A Dutch clergyman, Piet Suurmond, called this: ,,We have to be caressed, cared, cherished into being, into appearing''. By God, and by people. The unfolding of fruits can express itself in creativity. Without discipline, this won't work – art asks the utmost discipline in fact – but it all starts with receptiveness.

Receptiveness

To be receptive, is a concept that does not smoothly fit in with our urge for action, our tendency to want to go directly towards our goal. It is: being able to let happen what happens. God is involved in this. It reminds me of that situation where David goes and starts to count his man and wants to make them fit for battle, in order to measure his own strength. God really takes this hard on him and gets cross with David. For 'I am your God, don't you forget it', He says. To me this comes across as God, saying to us: 'Do what you have to do and leave to me what is Mine.'

About identity 

The further detailing and colouring of the style of your life starts, generally, at the moment you know who you are. The question then is: what is in it for me? What can I do with it? That is a natural process of searching. Because every stage of life has its own challenges on offer, its own secrets developing or stored away. For those reasons, a monastic tradition is more a place where you search, then a place where you tend to find. It is important to keep moving, to keep up the search. A Dutch comedian, Freek de Jonge, once said: ,,It is not about having, but about being. So: be!'' A fantastic challenge for every person, but for christians, this should be on the forefront of their minds. Be!

It is an art, to try and live as beloved children of our God. The Dutch spiritual searcher Henri Nouwen once wrote: ,,Who am I, really? Am I what I have, in terms of earthly possessions, or am I what people say about me? Am I, what I do? When I think that I am what I do, and what people say about me, I will be permanently busy with trying to have something to do, busy with having people say favorable things about me, and busy with making sure I have one or two material things to show. Because THAT will, then, be who I am! The great mystery is, that Christ says: 'That is, in the end, NOT who you are. Because who you are, is a son of God, a daughter of God, a child of God. And THAT, you already were, before you were even born. That, you already were, before your father and your mother started to interfere with you, and that you will always be. And Jesus came to us and said: 'You do not have to surrender to the world, because you already belong to God.' Your true identity is, that you and I are Gods children.'

Contemplation

How should we view the recent surge in broad attention for the phenomena of contemplation and meditation? Is this an honest search, or is it an escape, escapism? Is it a fruit of the craving for luxury in the Western world, or is it, in fact, deeply and typically human? Is it – in the words of reknowned German theologian Karl Barth – 'religion' or is it 'revelation'?
To me it seems, that the quest for who we really are, simply sprouts from the fact that we lost something: ourselves. It certainly is a sign of the times. But that does not mean, that the quest is not justified. It is a very telling sign, tells us something of the heavy burden of stress and the vastness of our confusion about our identity. Who are we? About ten years ago, we in the Netherlands saw the term '24-hours-economy' come up, and at the same time the typically Dutch word 'onthaasting', first used by a female socialist minister of environmental affairs. It is best translated as 'de-hurrying'. The urge for carreer-making is massive in our time, and we deal with many things in a very rationalized way. In all this, we slowly-slowly find out, that our rational approach of things has become disconnected of what moves us. But... in our emotions, we live, we get alive! Those tell more about who we really are then the convictions we might hold on to. In our times, rationality and emotion are searching for each other again. I am really amazed from time to time, because young students invite me tot come and talk about silence, quietude, peace, meditation, prayer. All this was, in my time, when I was 20 or so, a theme for grandpa and grandma. Young people back then were busy focussing on targets, realize ideals they had, discover and explore the world. Now, that whole wide world is on you screens the whole day and you can communicate with the other side of the planet with the speed of light. That is telling!

How was this within the church?

Within the Church, there have, throughout the ages, always been people who set themselves apart for prayer and contemplation, while at the same time still being receptive for councelling and advice. The Orthodox Church, mainly situated in Eastern Europe, Greece, Russia and the Middle East nowadays, is familiar with the ancien tradition of the pustinia, the 'Desert' with her 'Desert Fathers'. People left, for that reason, the cities, to pay visits to locations in the deserts or in monasteries. In the protestant tradition this aspect of christianity never got that much emphasis, while within the Roman Catholic tradition visiting a monastery remained the most normal thing. At such locations, your weary person got a kind of religious, spiritual 'Kwik-Fit', so to say. The pressure of the present times on people nowadays brings this back to us. I observe that the attention and interest for this aspect of christianity is growing in the Netherlands. Also in the more traditional  protestant churches (even here, in Giessenburg). Which precise shape and form this searching wil take on, it maybe doesn't matter that much. When people go and start contemplating, re-thinking, seek silence and prayer, it tends to bring good things. You become aware of that when you have a break of only one or two days and you start to think what you will or will not do in the year ahead... During the midweek retreats people visit the Spil without following a specific program. And already the complying and getting along with the rithm of prayer, of morning-noon-afternoon, brings them something. People in general are quite capable of reflecting. The nice thing is that in such situations all kinds of things can bubble up that is helpfull for you as a Christian.

To search God...

Is 'believing in God' a male or a female thing...? Womenfolk does tend to live more from their hearts, while man seem to have more homework to do before they can connect with what lives inside. They tend to be more focused on their opinions, emotions come later. But the Desert Fathers I mentioned above, they surely were lads? They were men of the heart for sure. It is deeply human to search for God, God has placed the longing for that quest in the hearts of mankind. Human beings are religious creatures, whether people are aware of that or not. Meditation can help. In the Spil, we read the Psalms in the chapel in the morning, in which man speaks to God, and in the evenings we read the Gospels, in which God speaks to man. These two movements point to what this is all about, they belong together, they give rithm to life. The German meditative author and monk Anselm Gruen starts his book ''Experiencing God'' with a chapter about the hearing, seeing, and smelling: the senses! To experience meaning starts with the conscious experience of the normal things, through your senses. The experience of God comes after that, in a natural way. Man was ultimately created for this purpose.

The Normal 

We come to God, not through something extraordinary, but through what is close. In our heart, through the normal. ,,Look at the flowers in the grass,'' Jesus said. This also is what gives me great hope while passing on the Gospel. There is so much that us people, connects: our longings, our suffering and struggles, our pain, all of which we express in our prayer. And when you do that, you begin to recognize things in each other. It is then when people start to ask: what you just said about your faith, I do not really know that, what are you talking about really? What I like very much about our time, is that after the frustration of, let me say, ,,the oldfashioned protestant musts and have-to's'' of the seventies and eighties, in the Netherlands, there is a new openness. We can connect with this through our faith, with the Word, and point at Christ.

Individualism

Taking time for contemplation can be done together, but its essentially a personal matter. It is about your life, your relationship with God. ,,My soul, how restless you are inside me...'' That is man, speaking to himself. We have become a bit allergic for 'individualism', probably because we see too many wrong examples. Contemplation however might be deeply personal, it need not be indivualistic and self-centered, egocentric. Meditation, with which I mean the Christian meditation, helps you to be real, to gain self-insight, and to live in the world. When you don't come to your self and your senses, at ease with who you are – then how can you accept others? If you are not at home with yourself, how can you meet the other / the Other? (Anselm Gruen). You mean to invite the other – but you yourself are not at home? It is true: in the measure you come closer to you, you will get closer to the (O)other.

That said, I want to say something about how silence, contemplation and prayer can stimulate each other. I want to write something here about the Lectio Divina, the spiritual reading and the inner prayer. I will try to keep practical and substantial things together.

1. The spiritual reading starts with becoming silent. Sit down at a fixed spot in your room. Try as much as you can to avoid distraction. Really make time for this (20 minutes).
2. You can do that by making a firm resolution to really completely be with God and not (having) to think of anything else.
3. Sit yourself on a chair or small bench (preferably an kneel or prayer bench) with your knees on the ground. Sit straigh up, so that you can breath freely. Breath in slowly, and let your breath go slowly again.
4. Close your eyes when your surroundings distract you – and keep them wide open when your thoughts threaten to go on the run with your mind.
5. When you are hindered by all kinds of at that particular moment unwelcome thoughts, then write them down or imagine you sit next to a small creek and you throw all your thoughts in the water like so many small twigs and you see them drift away slowly. To send back a thought in general doesn't work, to do something with it works best.
6. Thank God that He loves you and open your heart for Him, the Three-in-One God and simply trust in it that He also longs to be with you.
7. Take your Bible and slowly read a small part out loud. Stay with the part that particularly speaks to you. Try to hold this part. Chew and chew again so that it can do something with you. For, it is more important that the Word does something with us, then that we do something with the Word.
8. Choose a holy word. A holy word serves the purpose of keeping you fixed on the lesson at hand. Every time your minds starts to wander off you utter that word, so that it brings you back into the silence again. A holy word can be: love, forgiveness, closeness...
9. Now, try to be still. There is nothing that needs to be done now, other then that you and Him are together. Do not try to count on something or figure out something, but be aware that He is there. There. In that instant.
   

Intimacy and trust